This title is in quotes because I took it from someone else. But it stuck in my head ever since I read it. I discovered I was recently unfriended by a business owner who was apparently upset I left and went to the so-called competition. I joined this neighborhood gym about 8 years ago. I was treated with a warm welcome and throughout my entire membership felt like this place was family. Over the course of all those years I not only paid a lot of money but also referred about 10 people who also paid a lot of money. I love this place. It changed my life. I spent an average of 2 hours a day there. It made working out something to look forward to. This doesn’t change the fact that I still like doing other things. Variety is the spice of life as they say. So another gym opened up one block away that I can walk to vs. the extra half our round trip I was used to. Hey, that can make a huge difference. This place has all the variety you can imagine. My body needed a change and so did I. Not to say I wouldn’t still go back to my favorite. As I mentioned, I like variety. But was I only a friend when I was paying my dues? Was this a personal thing? Which brings me to my actual point. Not only am I a comedian but I spent my whole career in sales. My life has been about making contacts and building relationships. And as another saying goes, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Having owned my own business and selling advertising, my biggest concern was the the success of my customers. My service or solution was not their only answer. I wanted their business but ultimately knew that their total success might mean doing business with some of my competitors. Which is OK. I still won. Just because they advertised with me doesn’t mean there aren’t other avenues to their success. I encouraged them to do whatever worked. The better they did the better I did. I still sell advertising. And I refer my current clients to my so-called competition because they can offer different solutions to add to their success. Just like comedy. Other comedians are not competition. Funny is funny. I don’t get mad or unfriend people if they like other comedians. And I dont get mad if my customers advertise with other companies. There is always competition. You can embrace it or get mad about it. I am in the business of being successful in spite of it. Thats the basis of my job. As a business, what can you do to keep a customer when competition lurks all around you? You can offer them honey or you can offer them vinegar. For everyone you offer honey to you may get 10 more customers. For everyone you offer vinegar to you may lose not only those 10 but the word of mouth as well.

I hope everybody had a Happy Father’s Day no matter what you did. Some people were lucky enough to be with their dads (or kids). Others called to send their wishes. Some may have spent the day honoring their dad who is not here anymore. Yet, if we were lucky enough to grow up with Dads we are lucky enough to have memories. I spent the day traveling but fall into the group of calling my dad and wishing him a happy Fathers Day. Just a simple call is all it takes to make someones day. Everyone has different relationships with their father.  I happen to get my sense of humor from my dad. He might see it as a threat that I have become a comedian and have possibly one-upped him. Yet he started it. I have been known to be a bit of a prankster in my time, but as genetics would have it, its not my fault. I will share my silly story with you that comes to mind and hope that you have some fond memory of your own. When I was a kid I went away to camp for about a month. Our family had also just gotten a golden retriever puppy, Barney. He was about 8 weeks old when I left. Anyway, every few days I would call home to check in. My dad couldn’t wait to tell me all the updates on how Barney was doing. He couldn’t stop raving about how big he was getting. I felt like I was missing out on his puppyhood. As the weeks went on and on my Dad couldn’t stop talking about how Barney was growing immensely. Fast forward to when my family came to pick me up from camp. My dad decided to bring Barney to the welcome home celebration. Needless to say, Barney had grown up to be a full size 100 pound dog in those 4 weeks that I was gone. Or did he? Of course not. My dad borrowed a friends grown golden retriever dog to trick me into thinking I missed my puppy growing up. Haha, the joke was on me. I did, however, go home that night to a very cute puppy who still had a lot of growing up to do. But it did pave the way for some paybacks. There have been many laughs over the years and I have to give credit to the man who gives me my sense of humor. Happy Fathers Day to all!!

People are often amazed when I tell them I am a stand up comedian. They always have a ton of questions: How did you get into comedy? Do you get nervous before you go on stage? Do you know so-and-so? Do you write your own jokes? Or the worst response of all: Tell me a joke.  And then they proceed to tell me how they should be a comedian because everyone tells them how funny they are. Or they tell me what I should put in my act. It never gets old. But regardless of these shenanigans I do love stand up comedy. Or should I say I love the CRAFT of stand up comedy.  I love to laugh, I love to write, I love to make people laugh and I appreciate the art. What I dont like has its own list as well. I dont like that comedians are oftentimes not compensated for their talent. They are not paid well, if at all. Most bookers believe its just an honor to give you stage time. The artist creates material and the performance AND has to kiss booty to get on stage. Now, you can have a certain look, walk into a bank, get discovered and subsequently get paid tens of thousands of dollars to act in a commercial or movie. Or take a script, do your thing and get paid handsomely. But write, create and make people laugh all on your own? You might get some chicken wings or a drink ticket. I would like to address an incident that happened to me last night. I was requested to perform at a major comedy club on the Sunset strip. I didn’t ask, I was requested. As usual, I was professional. I showed up early and asked one of the employees where the guy I was supposed to check in with was. He told me he wasn’t there yet but would be there soon. He showed up after the show was supposed to start. He was borderline pleasant when I introduced myself. There was no list of comics and no order. We were not told where to go, who the emcee was or any direction at all for that matter. Sitting in the green room, the emcee would just come in to get a comic right before they were supposed to go on stage. When asked about the list she said she didn’t have it but the guy running it had it. I went to talk to him and he said, You didn’t bring anyone. This, in the comedy world, was a bringer show. In other words, you can only perform if you bring people. There is no respect for the art, only greed for the green. I told him that at this stage of the game I do not do bringer shows. I have been doing this for over 15 years and do not submit, request or do these shows. They are more for new comics who ask all their friends to come out and see them perform. Needless to say, he said, Um, yah, this is a bringer show. So I was penalized for having the experience and the only level of talent was measured on how many people the comics could bring. I am not demeaning the other comics that were there. I am saying that there is no recognition of credits or talent. I ended up walking out. I know what I am worth. If I want stage time I know I can go out and get it. Bringer shows are common in this greedy town. They make money off new comics because they get all their friends out. They are solely promoted by the comics. But I was ASKED to participate. And then treated like dirt. Blah blah blah, I could go on and on. The fact still remains that I love the craft, but not the business. If you truly appreciate the art or just like to laugh, I ask that you go out and support live comedy. Not because you are being pimped! And dont just like the status of your friends that are posting their show dates. Go out and actually see them. Not on YouTube, but live on stage! They work hard at what they do. And how bad could it be? You get to laugh and be entertained.