I have to be honest, which when anyone says that a lie is usually the next statement. And while we are at it it’s the same with the word literally. I HATE that word because it’s never fucking literal. It’s just your dramatic portrayal so please stop. That wasn’t even the topic of this but I’m already annoyed. So stop with your “literal” comments. OK, so why did I go to Arizona? Well, number one, this is my home. I grew up here. And because I have been working remote I can work anywhere. What?? You have a REAL job? Yes, I do. So when you text or call my incessantly during the day that is why I don’t answer. So don’t nag me or push me because I have to work. And I also hate being nagged so most likely I will not answer you should you be in that be the situation. I have to work because I “get” to work. And I am grateful for my job. It allows me to do this crazy comedy thing and live my best life. I don’t talk about my job in my comedy world because I keep them separate. Anyway….why did I come to Arizona? Not necessarily because I’m from here but that’s a great part of it. A couple months ago Los Angeles went on complete lockdown. I live in a great place. With a great view. With an AMAZING dog. But too much cabin fever. And there was no end in sight when things would open up. But everything was open in Arizona. Where restaurants were open. Rates are just as bad, but we are locked down, AZ not. I get tested religiously. Why? I don’t know. But always before I come to AZ. And always tested negative so far. I know people think California people are nuts. Um yah, I agree. However, we are used to being forced to wear masks and stay inside. Fast forward, I come out here to AZ and people don’t wear masks for the most part but more noticeably bars and restaurants are OPEN. And not at 25% or 50% capacity. At FULL capacity. There is NO quarantine here. They are sick. of.it. They think WE are weird. The Californians. I was out last night with an old friend. On a patio. Feeling as safe as I can be. Because that is the new normal and how it is. But it got weird as we went to another “bar” and I couldn’t deal with people around me. Now I’m the crazy Californian. Hilarious!! I love you guys. And I get everyone is tired of the quarantine. What is your answer? I wear my mask, cover up, do the right thing but have also realized that covid is never going away. How will we deal with it? I am lucky to not have had it. And I plan on it but am not going to stop living. It’s been almost a year. We have been on lockdown in California. Arizona NO lockdown. Rates are just as high. So, I have another 3 weeks here. I am sure I will develop a whole new cabin fever. Just so you know, it’s not always brighter on the other side. Yet I am loving it here for what it is and living on the other side. For now.

So I have to say I thought it would be weird coming back to Arizona for a month. I had a lot of anxiety about leaving home for so long. Even though I have someone picking up my mail and being my eyes and ears it just feels weird. But now that I am here it feels like home. Same quarantine, different place. Wake up, get on the computer to work, avoid spam calls and texts, take Noodle for a walk, make coffee, shower, avoid more spam calls, eat, and even get an Amazon package. Granted it wasn’t for me. Later found out that the stuffed animal duck that was ordered by a 15 year old was delivered to me instead of her. Nonetheless I got my daily Amazon delivery. Later in the day I had plans with some sorority sisters. WHAT? You didn’t think I was in a sorority? Shame on you. You can’t judge a book by its cover. We all sat out in my friends huge backyard social distanced and it was like no time had ever passed. I spend 4 amazing years with these girls in college. Well, 4 1/2 but who’s counting. We laughed, we reminisced, we ate and then boom. I had to cut it short because I had to go home to do my Comedians At Denny’s show. Then they all had to get up early for work the next day. That is the only thing that proved we were older. Cause in college we would have said screw it and stayed up all night. And bounced back like spring chickens in the morning because we were young. We even looked good in our wrinkled clothes and bedhead back then. I still look good in wrinkled clothes and bedhead, I just use filters. Until we all meet again in the NEAR future…

I have to say I love being home in Arizona today. I almost feel like I never left. It’s home away from home back to my original home. Does that make sense? If not, that’s ok because I don’t make sense a lot. Or at least I’m told. It also happens to be my brothers birthday. Don’t tell him but I love that phucker! And with the little family I have left who actually GETS together, this was super important to me. I love that we can see each other in real life. Not just emails, texts or zoom. REAL life. And Covid free. We are all cleared!! We went to dinner and had a great time. We sat on the patio even though places in Arizona are open inside. So, to be honest part of the reason I came here was because LA was on complete lockdown. But as I was leaving they opened up again. Uh, well, that would have been nice to know ahead of time. Whatevs. I will get into the whole difference between the quarantining here vs California on some future posts but it is a big topic. And why did I come out here for a month? Again, part of that next post. But I did spend the day buying stuff for my condo making it conducive for a months stay. That even means laundry detergent and mayonnaise. At first I thought, did I make a mistake? A month is a LONG time. Then again, I will never have this opportunity again. I just needed a change of scenery and attitude. Yah yah yah, scenery can always be changed. Attitude? Well, whole different story. But that’s why I’m here. To prove a point!!!