I received a phone call yesterday that reminded me I haven’t blogged for awhile and that this was the perfect time to start up again. I have recently been going through a very challenging time and have let some things fall by the wayside. Through this time I have realized how important friendships and relationships are and when it comes down to it, that is what is really important. You really discover peoples character and integrity during these times. The phone call I received was from a friend I have known since childhood. She actually called me to check in and see how I was doing. Yes, she called. She didn’t text. She didn’t email me. She didn’t send me a message on Facebook. Yep, she called me. The old school way of communicating. Nobody seems to like to talk these days. They say they are so busy, working like crazy, running around like a chicken with their head cut off, blah blah blah. As busy as they are they always seem to have the time to text all day, post on Facebook, send emails, etc. When all is said and done, will you  look back and remember all the work you had to do and how busy you were? Will you realize how many relationships and friendships that were compromised? Yes, we all get busy and technology has aided us in communicating faster. But it has also replaced the personal touch. And ironically people spend more time on technical devices than talking to people. When you are going through difficult times, have your break downs and get distracted, how comforting is it to get a text to ask how you are? You cant cry on a text messages shoulder. I have to say that in these times I don’t have the time to respond to a text message, email, Facebook. I DO have the time to talk to you if you care about how Im doing. I also want to thank all of you who have actually called. There are many of you and I want to acknowledge that. Thanks for reading! I wanted to keep this short and sweet as I am so busy, running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Ah, the age old question. This has been a recent topic of conversation between some of my friends lately and there is still no real conclusion. A male friend of mine posted on Facebook  Ladies: if a guy wants to spend time with you to get to know you he is interested in you as more than a friend. We all already have enough friends we cant spent time with. And if you have a boyfriend let us know immediately, not on the 5th drink we buy. The responses poured in. His point is that men are not interested in just knowing women as friends. They ask you out to get to know you and cant suck it up to ask you on a date. They are scared of rejection so not putting the date title on it makes it easier. The conversation proceeds to go back and forth with the men’s opinions vs. the women’s and trying to convince the other one that he or she is right. Many men do not believe they were designed to be monogamous that its not in our biology. With that said they still want to go out, buy girls drinks, get to know them, yet don’t want the stigma of a relationship or any responsibilities that go along with it. Relationships take work and this takes all the fun out of it. They want the sex and companionship but don’t want to help with important decisions or to take care of them as a traditional man. And they certainly don’t want marriage. They want the sex and companionship from as many women as possible. The general consensus from the ladies was that they can certainly go out to get to know you. But that is it. No underlying intent. If the intent comes down to the guy buying drinks for his motive then the girl should buy her own drinks and avoid all confusion. This Facebook thread went on for days. Guys trying to convince us that  marriage or relationships are for the birds (mostly because they have been burned and feel justified that it never works out and it is not their biological imperative.) And girls saying that they CAN be just friends. Their point was that buying drinks for us didn’t require that we owe you anything. Otherwise we will buy our own drinks but thanks for the nice gesture. If you want to get to know us, great. Generally we will want to date and move on to see if it turns into anything. We, as a rule of thumb, want to be in a relationship and not play the field (at least after our 20s). We typically want to be married and have a life with someone. Yes, there are a fair share of girls who do not want marriage or a relationship. They grew up in a household that was destructive or have been burned in their own relationships. Either way, the ongoing debate continues. Stop spending, or should I say, wasting,  your time trying to convince everyone that your way is right!!! There is NO right. Here’s the bottom line. Everybody is entitled to their opinion. Everyone has different stories. Everyone has different experiences. Everyone has different wants and needs.  Your safest bet is to find someone that wants the same thing you do. If that means hanging out with each other whenever with no commitment, great. Conversely, if you want to be in a relationship or get married then find someone who wants that as well.

In almost every interpretation pride is considered the most serious of the deadly sins and the source of all others. Its identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good work of others, and excessive love of self.  Not only is it considered to be the most serious of the all sins, it is known to be the deadliest of all sins. With that said where has your pride gotten you? Would you rather be right than be happy? And at what expense? How is your career going? Are you where you should be or where you thought you would be right now? Pride can get in our way when we think we know more than others. We don’t get ahead because we are smarter than the people we are dealing with. Sometimes being smarter means we just know how to deal with people or how to negotiate. It doesnt mean we know more information. Information is great ammunition but ammunition with no vehicle is useless. Learn what it takes to make people want to work with/for you and pay you for your value. Just being smart will not make you rich. Why does someone want to work with you vs. someone else? Is it because you know more or because you are easy and pleasant to work with and know what it takes to get the job done? You may be smart and have the information I need but if you are difficult and arrogant with too much pride you may not get the job. And how are your relationships? Is it more important to prove your point and be right than to have healthy relationships? If the desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good work of others, and excessive love of self, in other words, pride, supersedes your feeling about the other person there may be a problem. If you could have any life you desired what would it be? A great marriage? Meaningful relationships?  Lucrative career? Money? Happiness? Pride will ruin all of that IF defined in the aforementioned Latin terminology. Food for thought when something is not going right in your life, or IS going right in your life, just think what role pride has. Let it go and see what happens.